Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old

RIDDLES

How do you stop a snake from striking?
Pay it decent wages

What do rivers do when they try to be cool?
They go with the flow

What has teeth but never eats?
A comb

What did the sand say to the mountain?
You rock

What kind of dance do hot dog buns do?
Abundance.

Where in the world is the best place to buy good porcelain dishes?
China

PUNS

A guy went to a costume party dressed as a knife, and he really looked
sharp.

After entering the sewing contest she was on pins and needles.

The chef at a family-run restaurant had broken her leg and came into
our insurance office to file a disability claim. As I scanned the
claim form, I did a double take. Under "Reason unable to work," she
wrote: "Can't stand to cook."

There's a new sport - leaping over rifles. It's called jumping the gun.

Father and son love sunflower seeds, and the son is the spitting image
of his dad.

There was a circus fire eater who married his old flame after a long
and extinguished career. He planned to teach his son the family
business, but his ulcer flared up and he was unable to pass the torch.

Stealing someone's coffee is called "mugging." (Mike Bull)

GROANERS & SHAGGY PUPPY STORIES

A young man walked into our insurance office to purchase coverage for
his new motorcycle. Only one question confused him. "Do you have a
lien holder on the vehicle?" "I've got a kickstand," the prospect
replied. "Is that the same thing?"

A man walked into the office of the psychiatrist, and sat down to
explain his problem. "Doctor, doctor! I've got this problem," the man
said. "I keep thinking that I'm a dog. It's crazy. I don't know what
to do!" "A common canine complaint," said the doctor soothingly.
"Relax. Come here and lie down on the couch." "Oh no, Doctor," the man
said nervously, "I'm not allowed up on the furniture."

This fellow showed up at work one morning sleepless and haggard. "What
happened to you?" a co-worker asked. "I was up nearly all night," the
man said. "My wife and I had a terrible argument. She became
historical." "You mean hysterical," the co-worker replied. "No.
Historical," the man said. "She went over absolutely everything I've
done wrong over the last 25 years."

OTHER HUMOR

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Fido.
Fido who?
Fido known you were coming, I'd of baked a cake.

Groupie: Scheduled bus stop to empty your bladder

"I hate sweet potatoes," Tom yammered.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
in the trap.

OLD DRY CLEANERS never die, they just get depressed.

Cute!

thanks for sharing